Does anyone have trouble keeping control of their mind? I do. I must have missed a lot when I was a kid because I feel like I'm learning the basics now. My mind and ego hold me back everyday and make me lose the moment. I feel like for the first time in my life I have experienced real presence in the moment and its amazing.. Its seems so easy. Why should it be difficult to process my feelings and thoughts so I can keep on enjoying life and every moment?. Why would I deprive myself of life??
I haven't written in this Blog for a long time.. The title of it is. "Today is My Last Day On Earth" Just to let you know..since I haven't been writing I have not lived everyday like its my last day. I have not lived every moment like its all there is. Every day is brand new. Every moment is brand new. Every second is so precious. It makes me crazy now when I allow myself to lose track and not really live that. I feel like a broken record..I have been singing about this and writing about it in circles for year and it feels like it never ends. Well..There it is more of the same thing. Me talking about how my mind management.
Have a good day,
Greg
2 comments:
Have you ever watched the show Six Feet Under? I was just thinking about it recently, it's probably one of my favorite shows of all time. It's about a family who bands together to run their father's funeral home after he dies. The main character, the oldest brother Nate, spends the entire series struggling with the goal of living every day to the fullest while trying to also "do the right thing" by his family and other loved ones, usually mucking everything up in the process. He's one of the most detestable characters in the series at times, because of the awful choices he makes, but he's also the most relatable character on the show for that same reason. Not to mention, it's one of the most well-written television shows I've ever seen. You should check it out! Here's a clip I found on YouTube that kind of touches on this topic a little:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeS9Sv4paCg
Hi, Greg-
This phenomenon is very familiar to me, but I guess I don't necessarily parse it as not having control of my mind so much as letting my mind have *too* much control. It's so easy to overanalyze everything, even emotions, and so rare and difficult (at times) to shut that inner voice off. This is why it feels so amazing to me when I realize that, hey, I just had an experience and I wasn't *thinking* the whole time, just experiencing it. And then, similar to what you're describing...I start to analyze why I can't be like that all the time and try to recreate or reenter that experience by thinking...which obviously just doesn't work.
Whenever I've tried to do any energy work, like reiki, I've had a really hard time with it, because I sit there thinking about it the whole time: am I feeling something? Is this right? Is this what I'm supposed to feel? I'm probably doing this wrong. Why can't I just let go and feel this? What the hell is wrong with me? Etc. Not very helpful. :)
I definitely understand what you're describing and think you really shouldn't blame yourself or be so hard on yourself for still working through all of this. Be kind to yourself. None of these thought patterns grew or expanded overnight, and they won't fade or recede overnight, either.
Something you might find interesting: a friend of mine is an energy healer who does a lot of work with Hawaiian healing traditions. She's been working for a while on trying to create an easy metaphor for the integration of self and experience that she's been studying...and has actually come up with a very interesting way of comparing how we view/control/experience our lives with how the holodeck is used on Star Trek. (Ok, yes, this obviously appeals to me because I'm a huge nerd, but it's still pretty interesting.)
In introducing it, she says: "Along with some concrete tools and resources, we can use this new point of view to help us undo the "programming" that keeps us stuck in endless loops of reacting, prevents us from being fully present in our lives, and keeps us from fully integrating all aspects of our being. When we are more fully integrated and present, we experience less separation and greater connection to everyone and everything around us; we are in the flow of life." It seemed relevant.
She doesn't have a lot up publicly now, but you can see most of the essay at : http://www.powerctr.com/mth/ if you are interested. I promise it's not ALL Star Trek. :)
Take care of yourself,
Shannon
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