We are all amazing in our own way. Who knows how long we have spent or will spend living experiences through different lifetimes to truly realize this. Who knows how many Orcs we have slaughtered, how many wheels we have invented, how many seas we have sailed, how many territories we have discovered, how many loves we have made and lost, how many bones we have broken, how many fights we have fought, how many moments we have looked at the stars and dreamed of something more meaningful, how many times we gave up and how many times we started again.
A friend and artist named, Liz commented along the way and I can’t freaking find the exact comment. I know it’s in there somewhere among those piles of blog comments but I’m sick of trying to find it. She said something like, “I have to stop comparing my success to other people’s successes” The quote really was better than that. If anyone finds the quote let me know. She gave the Souls copies of her new comic last night and it’s pretty awesome:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=80760
I really want to talk more about the comparison thing though..There are a million ways to stop yourself before you even start and this is one of the biggies. Somebody is always ahead of you, somebody has always achieved more, somebody has always been more inventive, original, or come at a seemingly better time in history to do/create some cool shit. Many times I have listened to that stupid voice telling me I have not been “original” enough, or I am not good enough, or a million other things I could have been but at the same time I have been envious of people who seem to be totally happy with a “normal” life.
I was visiting my Aunt and Uncle’s house last year during the children’s book reading/music tour Shanti and I went on. We were talking in the kitchen about this and that when my Aunt asked me something like,”Why do you think you ended up doing what you are doing, Gregory?(she really calls me Gregory) Is it because you wanted to be different and do something interesting?” I said yes, I wanted to do something original..BE an original and live an interesting, meaningful life. Then my Aunt addressed my Uncle with something like, “Why haven’t you done anything really interesting?” His answer was amazing to me. He said, “Somebody’s gotta be average.” He was totally happy with his life and himself. He was a gym teacher and wrestling coach/referee for 30 years. It occurs to me now that even though my uncle was not breaking the sound barrier, or inventing a cure for cancer he was confident with himself and happy with his life. Why? I believe the only way we can achieve REAL confidence and happiness with ourselves is to give of ourselves in a way that is original, individual and unique to each of us..so I think my uncle must have given of himself in a way he enjoyed to a degree otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to answer in that way. I don’t want to glorify my uncle here but what he said in this context can be a great example for all of us. “Somebody’s gotta be average.” He just didn’t give a shit. He was happy with the way he created his life and the way he gave love to the people in it even if on the surface it didn’t seem so incredibly amazing or interesting.
We are living our lives to experience our unique experiences that are unlike any other. Each moment is our close-up, our fifteen minutes of fame, our shining moment in history. It’s Happening Right Now!! Comparisons are a waste of time and have no value. Gym teachers and Rock stars both go to bed every night and look up at some ceiling, alone with themselves and the real intentions behind their actions.
Finding out what works for us on our own is the puzzle we all have to solve, whether you are a rock star or a gym teacher. There are plenty of great rock songs out there to inspire us, and a few uncles who are gym teachers to help us along now and then, but in the end nobody can do it for us… and that is; amazingly beautiful. Each and everyone of our journey’s is equal in greatness to the likes of __________ (insert “hero” of your choice)
5 comments:
Hey Greg.I read all your blogs.dont stop em. Ive been a lazy ass to get mine rollin, i know!just a combo of bein time stricken atm.when i finally do soon,id be way happy for you to read it,coz this is gonna be a massive jump for me also to pouring out my heart,and to things that have so far never been put into writing. Heroes are just normal peeps at the end of the day in the real world.thats why in my myspace under heroes they dont exist! they fuckin actually do,but they are in the heart.not to be paraded like martyrs or anything, i beleive. talk soon ...U rock!
Hey Greg, so awesome to see this after coming back from the Asbury Park show tonight. When I look at my life the way it currently is on its own without thinking about what anyone else is doing, it's pretty incredible and I get really proud of myself for all the sacrifices I've made this year to do what I really want to do. When I think of 2008 up until now, I think of it as the Best Year of My Life So Far. It's ONLY when I start looking at other people and what they're getting that I start to have second thoughts about where I am. The trick is, I guess, to try and stop the comparisons. I know there are many things in my life that other people would envy just as I would envy them. It's just a little rough when I try and try and try to do things the best I can and I feel like it's still not "good enough." But what is "good enough" anyway? For someone like me I don't think there is ever such a thing because for every gold ring I grab there's another just out of reach. That's kind of the nature of making art though, I think. It's never finished.
Jeez look at me go, all commentating like a crazy person. It still freaks me out to post these comments for some reason. But I think it's kind of like when I'm feeling self conscious and I say "I don't care what anyone thinks!" even though it's not true... if I say it enough eventually I start to believe it.
Sorry it's like 3:30 in the morning. I'll stop now! hahaha...
See you in Philly!
PS - Is this the comment you were looking for:
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=2281840930115895440&postID=6420816908649412787
If it means anything...you remind me of a modern day Jack Kerouac C:
I love reading your blog and I'm so glad that this is not the end.
Hey look I'm going crazy with the comments. Third comment on a single entry! What the hell.
I wrote up a blog post about my experience this weekend following the Souls for three days in an attempt to break a little more out of my weirdness and largely inspired by some of these blogs you've written. It's pretty long but I might not have put it on the internet for all to potentially see if not for reading yours first.
Here it is.
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