It’s 12:40am on Sept. 17th. That’s not really important in the big picture but places and dates have always been fun for me. I like knowing when a song was recorded, when a painting was painted, and when and where the guitar was made. It gives some sort of perspective that I can relate to, dream of and imagine.
Last night I visited my Dad’s house and saw his senior year football program laying out on the kitchen table. The cover says, “The ’64 Wagner Seahawks Undefeated Season.” I have seen it my whole life and always liked looking at it. I would always page through it and be stoked when I found Dad’s picture. Its amazing how big things like this can be for a kid. Having that concrete link to this kind of family history can be very anchoring and inspiring. I don’t know where I would have been without my Dad, Mom, and sister in my life growing up so I can’t even fathom kids who have one or no parents. I have been very lucky but also very appreciative.
I looked through the pages, passing all the faces and names. Some of them I know from stories from my Dad. Some were good friends of his, some went to Vietnam, some went into different businesses and had families that I have met. It’s incredible to think all of these individuals mean so much to some one…and its only a college football team from Staten Island! The ripples of each moment in time reach so incredibly far.
The ads in the program are classic. They really could be the best part. In one of them there is a picture of a dapper looking college guy smoking, and the quote next to him says,
“You’ll look good with a cigarillo…”. The ads for the cars are awesome too….
I don’t know exactly what I’m getting at here..I have been trying to feel out what’s next in this life/writing journey. I started writing a couple of things that were just nothing. The perspective was all over the place with no focus and no inspiration so I just let some time pass. In the past few days when I have thought about writing another chapter all I could think of is: The final chapter of “Today is My Last Day On Earth.”… I really don’t want it to be the last chapter so I have been avoiding that little voice…and I have been feeling it all out for the past few days. Then on the way back from Nyc today a new project idea came to me and I realized it’s definitely time for the last chapter. Here we are in the middle of it.
I tried to write some big conclusions about soul searching and learning to love our selves in life but they seemed so damn shallow and annoying…but just because these ideas seem cliché it doesn’t mean it’s not the most important thing we can do/be. Life really is short and really is precious and really is for living. A lot of us get caught in the sleepy breezes of the averageness all around us and sail into a regretful existence of ignorange haha that’s a typo that I just have to leave: ignorange. I love that. Anyway you know what I mean. Let’s wake up from our sleep walk and stay in the game. This is our life to love, not just survive. We just have to get out there and Live It!! ..and stay passionate about each moment because they grow like little seeds...And remember anything is possible! We have to go for it, and totally fuck up… there is no other way. Fucking up feels good though, because that means we are out there in the moment giving ourselves to it. It’s not so easy to live like today it’s your last day on earth…but it’s even harder to live with your self if you let your;
dreams/feelings/ideas/passions/love
get swept under the rug.
Thanks for reading.
Stay tuned
2 comments:
I really needed to read something like this today. I've been plagued by some really bad green-eyed-monster feelings this week and it's been hard to remind myself that I can't judge my own happiness by others' successes. It's been hard to keep up that PMA. So the last few days I've been just searching for something, anything, to read/see/watch/listen to that would reinforce what I know to be true. That life is short but incredibly special and I can't waste it sitting around feeling worthless when I have so much more positive creative energy inside me that I could be using instead.
Cliches be damned! It's true either way.
So off I go now to finish up that book proposal.
as cliche as you think this was, its necessary to repeat over and over and over again. the difference in reading it this time is who is saying it. it's not coming from my parents. or my sisters. or my brother.
i don't know if anyone else out there is like me, but the same advice you always hear sometimes sounds better coming from someone outside of your normal surroundings.
greg, thank you for sharing your thoughts, fears and feelings with us. you'll probably never know the exact number of people you've inspired, but i can assure you it's a lot.
keep up the music, the writing, the living life like it's your last day.
i'll see you in the pit...or better yet, on the same stage someday.
-dave
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